


Age ain't nothing but a number

by orphan_account



Category: The Get Down (TV)
Genre: Childhood Sexual Abuse, Fat Annie - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-29 19:32:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10860603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: In which Shaolin is actually younger then everyone realizes.





	Age ain't nothing but a number

**Author's Note:**

> Everytime I rewatch The Get Down Shao just looks younger and younger to me. Also, does anyone else feel like Shao is the little bro trying to get Cadillac to accept him?

 

 

It happens like this :

They're in Annie's club - fighting, like lately all the Get Down Brothers are is just a rotating door of petty arguments driven by everything that's wrong with the world.

" _Fuck_ drugs and _fuck you._ " Zeke mutters under his breath but Shao catches it and his eyes get wide and betrayed. And they'd agreed - reached an understanding - that Fat Annie, Les Inferno, the drugs all had to stop, only apparently it doesn't mean shit.

Cadillac claps Shaolin on the back, premeditated and obvious - the intention to fuck shit up is there, says,

"Hey Shaolin Fan-Faggot, Happy fucking Birthday."

The greeting only momentarily stumps Shao, but the small smile is genuine and he hides it quickly. His face lights up, flushed.

It occurs to Zeke then that he doesn't know Shaolin's birthday. But he's so angry he talks over it like it doesn't matter.

Wipes the soft flush of pleasure right off Shao's face.

"You just ain't man enough to stand up to Annie."

Shao's reaction is predictable. He upturns a a stool viciously, barks at Zeke,

"You got something to say? Fucking say it!"

"Yeah, I do got something to say. You think you're our _leader_? Then lead, right now you ain't nothing but a motherfucking coward."

Shao strikes out at him and Zeke catches it, pulls him forward roughly.

"You punch like a fucking girl." he says, an echo of their first fight.

Cadillac cackles in the distance.

The rest of the Get Down Brothers follow him on his way out.

 

 

It nags at him, in the back of his mind. It's a few days past but Zeke doesn't think it's too late to make amends. He doesn't think Shao would like a party, and maybe a cake is a little too cheesy, but he needs a gift at the very least. A token.

He picks out a box of crayons. Crayola 24. It's not sentimental, it's a little funny, can be brushed off. Isn't _telling_. Shao already has a bunch of cool shit anyway.

When he finally gets to Shao's everyone is there. It shouldn't be a surprise - it's where they hang out, but Zeke didn't even realize he wanted Shao to himself before he's flooded with disappointment. It's a little fucking stupid.

There is Ra and his new girl, and her friend. The same friend that tried to make it with him. Only she's sitting next to Shao and he has his arm around her. He looks vaguely uncomfortable. He's clumsily professing how fine she is and she's nodding politely. She isn't interested.

"Shao." Zeke wiggles the crayons in his hand, tosses them at Shao and they land in his lap.

"So much for catlike reflexes." Boo giggles.

"What the fuck Books? Why you fucking throwing crayons at me."

That reaction is the exact reason he'd got something small. He almost feels Shao deserves it when the girl abandons him and deliberately cuddles up to Zeke, although she _knows_ he's got a girl.

"Happy Birthday." he says, knows Shao will probably feel guilty about being so snappy after. That freezes Shao for a solid second. Then he turns the crayons over in his hands. He opens his mouth to say something but gets stuck, clears his throat.

"How old you turning?" Tanya, Ra's girl, says to dispel the silence.

"Um, you know, old."

"Yeah but like _how_ old?"

"Twenty three."

Tanya's girl friend untangles herself from Zeke with an, "uh, I'm seventeen." Disgust obvious in her tone.

Shaolin's face heats.

"Get the fuck out of here then! I'm not looking for a baby."

Shao's temper spoils the mood. Ra and Tanya and Yvonne, as it turns out, leave soon after. Until finally it's just Zeke and Shao, who is running his fingertips over the pack of crayons.

"You know." Shao begins, "It's not really my birthday."

"Well then why you get all fucking smiley at Cadillac the other day?" Or does Shao mean that _that_ was his birthday and it's a useless gesture?

Zeke is a little aggravated, it seems to be a theme lately.

"I wasn't fucking smiley." Shao denies, "Cadillac knows my birthday isn't for another week."

"Oh," Zeke says, "so when is it again?"

Shao doesn't hear him, his eyes are a little shiny and it takes Zeke a moment to figure out they're shiny with unshed tears.

"Never got a birthday present before."

 

 

And oh yeah - orphan. It's not like Zeke didn't know that. Somehow he equates the word orphan with himself. With his own experiences. Didn't realize, in his obviousness, that it could mean something different. Could be the difference between I lost my parents and I never had _anyone_. 

"So, it turns out Shao's birthday is on the 27th." Zeke says to the Kipling Brothers as they're doing homework in their living room.

"We should get him something." Dizz says.

"Besides your lame ass crayons," Boo smiles, "Imma get him stylin' booty shorts."

"When the fuck you ever see Shao wear booty shorts?" Zeke asks, a little defensive. The crayons were clever, were perfect. Only, Shao deserves a lot more.

 

 

The 27th comes and goes but Shao isn't anywhere to be found. On the 28th Zeke checks the club. Annie is there, with her entourage.

"Annie." One of the men says, cautious but disapproving.

Zeke hears one of them muttering under his breath, "The kid's so fucking young."

Zeke's skin crawls when she looks at him.

"Well, isn't this a nice surprise? What you doing here honey?"

"I'm looking for Shao." he gets out, feels childish and out of his depth. He can feel his expression harden to compensate on its own.

"He's in the bedroom sugar, probably still passed out."

She laughs and the men at the table don't meet Zeke's gaze, when he looks at them. It's a guilty sort of gesture.

Zeke knows Shao doesn't have a home, but he doesn't have to stay _here_.

The bedroom is a mess. There's a giant nude painting of a woman and Zeke would almost say it was tasteful, in any context except Annie's bedroom.

Shao is wrapped in a comforter in the middle of the floor. His shoulders - which are all Zeke can see - are bare and there is clothing scattered throughout the room. It's disgusting. Zeke's disappointed. Shao wakes in a haze when Zeke pokes at him, he's obviously taken _something_.

"Books man," he squints up at him, "what you doing here?"

"Where were you man?"

"Here." Shao swallows, grittily. "Gimme a minute to put some clothes on."

Zeke hands him his bright red briefs.

They don't escape "Happy seventh anniversary sweetheart, hope you enjoyed your birthday present" as they're leaving.

Shao honest to God blushes.

Seven years, at twenty three, Zeke guesses they've been going at it since Shao was sixteen. It's a little gross, makes Zeke stomach turn. Zeke's eighteen now. Even at sixteen the pull of his hormones wouldn't have been that strong. 

But Shao lacks impulse control.

Anything is liable to set him off. 

He herds him back home, where the Kipling brothers are probably waiting. Boo gives him his booty shorts, red with white trim, and Zeke expects him to shoot Boo down but a wide smile cracks open on his face.

"Thank you my midget." He says and gives Boo a noogie, "this is dope. Probably won't wear them though. Nigga, when you ever see me wear Booty shorts?"

Ra's gift is a lot more practical, some honky record and Shao puts it on his table right away, spins it.

Then Dizz is giving him an hour glass with purple sand in it. It's weird and he expects Shao to comment on it but the smile never leaves his face. It's wide and genuine and all Zeke can think about is the way he'd said _Never got a birthday present before_. It's a lie though, going by what Annie had said. It makes him feel a little stupid for making such a big deal out of it. Reminds him how good of a liar Shao is.

"Thanks Rumi. For reminding me my time is running out in the most morbid way possible."

The Kippling brothers and Shao laugh together, and for once it seems like Zeke is the outsider.

Zeke brings out a kung fu poster. 

" _Two?_ _Two_ fucking birthday presents? Are you fucking with me right now?" Shao jumps his weird little karate kick he does when he's happy. Zeke's almost embarrassed for him but his sheer enthusiasm leaves little room for anything but fondness. 

"Yo, why you called Shao 007?" Boo asks and from the roll of Dizz's eyes he knows what his brother's going to say, "people be saying it's 'cause you have a 7 inch weenie."

"Don't be fucking stupid." Shao jumps at him like he's going to fight him but Boo just dodges, knows better than to be afraid of Shao unlike the first time they'd met, "it's bigger than that! Like twice as much!"

"That's extremely unlikely." Dizz intones in his educating voice, "seven inches is pretty average."

"Besides, it's like James Bond."

"Woah, hold up" Ra says, "I know you trying to be all mystical and shit with the kung fu shit. But you gotta choose, you can't be a super slick spy _and_ a ninja." 

They argue and it's silly. Zeke bitterly thinks that maybe Shao would like his present the best if it was sex, like Annie. He doesn't think on it long though because Shao is dropping beats and smiling that _smile_. Everyone is dancing and he grabs Shao for a moment, spins him in his arms and dips him.

 

 

Mylene and Shaolin don't get along. It's a given. The hammer usually comes down on Shao's side but Zeke has to find time for Mylene somewhere.

"Come on Shao, don't be like that. I won't be gone that long."

"Right, you bailing so go and fucking bail then." He's at his turntables, already turning away and deliberately putting his headphones on. He's wearing the short shorts and there's bruises all down his legs. When Zeke asked though all he did was shrug and say 'Annie' like it explained something.

"What the fuck you got against Mylene anyway?"

"Yeah, _Shao_ what the fuck you got against me anyway?" Mylene says, challenging, like the answer is a secret that they both know and it's damning. And she's supposed to be waiting downstairs.

"Mylene - " he starts.

"What kind of fucking loser hangs out with kids younger than him anyway?" Mylene blurts, crosses her arms.

"Fuck you Bitch!" Shaolin spits, comes over to get in her face, and Zeke tiredly pushes himself between them.

"No, fucking really? You a fucking pedo."

" _Fucking pedo?!_ Bitch _I'm sixteen!_ I mean - seventeen. I mean - _Fuck!_ " By the way Shaolin's eyes go wide it's obvious he never meant to say it.

"Yeah?" Mylene snaps, "What kind of fucking sixteen year old has facial hair?"

Shaolin's stuck though, like he can't get past the words that have escaped his mouth. Mylene doesn't believe him and Zeke can see the exact moment Shaolin realizes that and decides to take advantage.

"Okay. So, I'm twenty three, fuck - twenty four, so what?" 

Zeke has to catch himself before he out right laughs at Shao's slip. Isn't really thinking past anything but Shao being ineffectually defensive and kinda silly and sweet.

"Sixteen?" Mylene says then, "Think I'd fucking _believe_ that bullshit? Word on the street say you been with Fat Annie for years, what - you start going steady when you were twelve?"

Zeke can hardly believe it takes so long to hit him.

Seventeen minus seven is ten.

Maybe nine.

Zeke can't breath.

Shaolin looks like he's been slapped in the face. He startles, his lower lip pushes out and starts to wobble.

It's probably around then that Mylene begins to believe.

" _Fuck you!_ " Shao storms, "Fuck you! Get out of my house! Fucking _go_! You too _fucking_ Books! I ain't never wanna fucking see you again. Get the _fuck out!_ "

Zeke sees it for what is really is - a race against his tears. Shao doesn't want them to see him cry.

" _Shao-_ " he says.

" _Get the fuck out!_ " 

Mylene looks startled, like she doesn't know what to do. She steps forward, towards Shaolin, steps back.

"Sixteen." she squeaks.

"You don't- _fuck_ \- no, I'm twenty three." Shaolin seems to get a hold of himself then, "I'm twenty three." 

He delivers it the second time like he's waiting to see if this intonation catches them differently, makes them believe.

"Boo's sixteen." Mylene's face goes from startled to tortured and ashen, she starts crying.

"T-take care of your girl, Books." Shaolin says, wide eyed, and backs away. 

Zeke's heart has been in his throat since he realized. His eyes don't leave Shao - who looks more upset because he has no idea what to do with a crying girl than he does about revealing- Zeke can hardly go there even in his thoughts. It doesn't seem possible.

Shao looks at him and makes a shooing motion at Mylene.

"Mylene," Zeke begins to lead her to the door, "you go home. I need - I need to-"

"I know." she stutters out.

She stops him quietly outside the door. It swings closed gently from the tilt of the building. And Shao is alone behind it, and that's all Zeke can focus on.

"Zeke." she begins, and it's difficult to focus, he tries to leave but she stops him with a hand, "Look, I'm jealous and you know - I mean, I just didn't know it was _like_ that. I guess I'm saying choose between me or him and it's a shitty time. But you love him, I know that. It's - and he needs you more than me. I can't help thinking it was fucking inevitable anyway. So just, I mean we're always gonna be friends and be there for each other."

When he thinks about it later he knows it's kind of a disservice, that there isn't even a choice - a doubt in his mind. He's only getting her out of the room so he can get Shao alone, so she won't damage him further.

"I love you Mylene." He kisses her cheek and she pats his.

 

 

When he enters the room Shao gulps. He's steeled himself, doesn't look like he's liable to cry anytime soon anymore. A hard expression lingers in his eyes and Zeke realizes he's guarding himself against _Zeke_.

"You believe me, right?" is what he starts with. 

There's a lull and during the lull Shao just gets angrier.

"I don't fucking need this."

_She took everything from me since I was a kid. You ever see me with a girl? I never went to the movies, held hands and shared popcorn. I don't even understand that shit._

It's painful to realize. Shaolin hadn't even been trying to hide it from him or from anyone. As if it were natural. The way of things. The sky is blue and Shao gets abused.

And Zeke - Zeke had treated it the same way. Just by providence of Annie being a woman. Of him thinking Shao was a little older and it was obvious - so obvious - he never wanted to be there with her. 

"I don't fucking need this!" Shao repeats, "I'm twenty three whether you believe me or not. I-I don't need you spreading fucking _rumors_ -" 

"Your birthday - " he begins in order to take the heat off the age thing. It's a little underhanded, "You lied when you said you never got any presents."

Shao tenses, frowns.

"Annie? She does that every year." he says. 

"Does what."

"Yo, don't fucking tell me I have to explain the birds and the bees to you." He's agitated, can't keep still. "You know how she is."

"Those bruises were her." The words stick in his throat.

"Uh, I fucking said that earlier. You got a fucking problem with your ears. Why the fuck you care Books?"

"Because-"

"You never cared before." 

It's an accusation and it's _true_.

" _Shao_ -" Zeke can hear his own voice go soft, gentling as if Shaolin's a kid. He's damn near, and it shakes Zeke to his core.

"Fuck that. I'm not some - and it's not like you fucking didn't know. So what if it's just a few years difference."

Shao's hands are nervous, fluttering around. Waiting for Ezekiel to take the lead while looking like he's not, like he so often does.

"You're right." Zeke's throat is gravelly and it shows in his voice. 

"Stop fucking _crying_!" Shaolin yells at him and Zeke didn't know he was until it was said.

He sits heavily on the couch. Shao isn't done.

"Look man, if you're gonna be a fucking baby about it go home." The delivery is a little shaky though.

"Shao -" Ezekiel exhales heavily, "just sit with me for one fucking second."

He does, even if he does look supremely uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry, you're right. I-I can't say I didn't know because I did. I fucking did. I just - I didn't _realize_ -"

"I'm twenty three so you can just stop man." Shaolin is pointedly not looking at the mess Zeke makes.

"- and her Birthday present. She fucking hurts you like that and tells you it's a birthday present, is that what she did Shao?"

He can see him in his mind's eye, only the memory changes now that he knows the context. Shao's clothes massacred across the floor, the way he tugged up the blanket, was wrapped so tightly in it like it could protect him and that man's voice _the kid's so fucking young_.

"no." the answer is lackluster and rote. Zeke thinks his hands tremble when he thinks about Annie doing this every year, and the Shao in his mind keeps getting younger and younger. He hates Annie - viciously. For perverting the one day in Shao's life that is supposed to be for him, for laying hands on a child and making him hurt. Making him think it's the way of things, that he isn't worth a damn. _Using_ him. And fuck - did he even go to school? Remembers Shao's _she took everything from me since I was a kid_ and thinks not.

"That why you said you never got a birthday present before?" Zeke challenges, without much heat, just to keep him talking.

"What she does isn't a present." Shao bites out, defensive, as if he's making sure Zeke knows he didn't lie. And Zeke _knows that_. Regrets making him say it. 

"but she calls it that right?" Shao doesn't answer, Zeke presses towards him, " _right?_ "

Something in Shao's face changes, crumbles. It's a victory but it doesn't feel like a victory.

" _So fucking what?_ " Shao shouts, wipes angrily at his eyes and pushes away when Zeke's arms come to wrap around him.

Zeke doesn't let him escape. He struggles in his arms for the briefest of seconds before he collapses on a loud sob and holds Zeke tight.

It devolves after that. 

 

 

Hours later, tangled on the the floor, Shao whispers his whole story in the space between them. Pauses, stutters - tells Ezekiel he trusts him with everything but the words coming out of his mouth.

"I love you." Zeke says, and it's startling between them like a revelation.

He can't believe he was so damn stupid that he didn't realize it sooner.

Shao doesn't pull away, just clings to him tighter.

"You're not going back there again." Zeke says and Shao looks like he's going to argue, looks worried.

Zeke soothes him with little _shh_ noises, runs his fingers across him everywhere he can reach until Shao falls asleep.

 

 

 It's a challenge to get Shao to look at him the next morning. He's embarrassed and quiet, keeps looking away from Zeke, skirting around him. Finally, Zeke just gets in his way.

"Shao, look at me." Zeke aggressively presses into his space.

"Get out of here with that _gay_ ass shit!" Shao yells, is breathing heavy. Then his face tumbles into a worried frown and he's looking at Zeke then, "D-don't leave, I just - "

"I'm not leavin' I'm right here." 

He's gentle, pulls Shao softly to him. 

"I know you know." Shao breathes softly into his neck, "but I don't want everyone to know."

"It's gonna be okay. I'm not going to tell anyone."

And Annie - he wants to say he's going to make sure she gets hers, but she'll have to wait.

Shao is the most important thing right now. 

 

 

 

 


End file.
